A Letter to Jack

Hi Jack, It been about 55 years ago when you left us... A lot has happened since then. Some good... Some not so good.. Some just outright bad... I need to ask you to forgive me for trying to blame you for messing up the pencil sharpener when somebody sharpened their crayon in it. It was me... At the time I didn't realize what I had done... I'm really sorry about that. You missed some wars and stuff. Some of the guys you knew went to Vietnam. A few came back in body bags. And there was all the anti-war crap, and drugs and the false gods of the so called "Age of Aquarius". We haven't exactly blown up the world yet, but we keep working on it... There's been some good stuff along the way too... Little League baseball, Cub Scouts and then Boy Scouts, 4-H and the county fair. High school plays and sports. A wife, kids and grand kids and good times with friends... Sunsets, ocean beaches, and all that kind of stuff is pretty nice... We've had some good music, art, books, and film along the way too. A lot of good things have happened medically... Ironic that if we had had some of the stuff we have now, you might have been able to stay and go on through life with us. I've wondered over the years about what might have been had you not left us. Maybe we would have had a chance to be friends; if not close friends, at least acquaintances sharing a period of our life together with our other classmates... But... You were gone... They didn't talk to us about it hardly at all. Miss Laseer went to the funeral and that was it. It was only years latter with the experiances of a lifetime under our belt that we found in our remembering that there was a loss. The last 55 years have gone by so fast.. The years are adding up... The autumn and winter of life are upon us. Eventually if the Lord tarries, we also will die. Jack, there is a lot about life and death that I do not pretend to understand. It could have happened to any one of us. When I think of it, I wonder that any of us survived to gorw up, graduate from high school, and go on into life. You were not forgotten. Somehow, someway, your life, as brief as it was, had meaning and purpose. Well... That's about it... Only God Almighty knows what the future will bring. I really want to beleive that just maybe... just maybe... Lord willing... someday we will see each other again... That would be really nice... Regards, Bill

Of Halos and Such

Prologue:

Back in December of 2001, I went to a concert at a local church. Afterwards I had occasion to say “howdy” to one of the young people I knew from there.

“Hey there! How you doing? Been staying out of trouble?” I joked.

“Sure I have. Don’t you see my halo?” she replied also in a joking manner.

It was not the first time I heard her joke about her “halo”. I could only sense there was a meaning behind those words that suggested that in reality all was not well despite the perfunctory assertions such as we all make in social settings where to really bare the soul is not possible. Over the next few days I pondered those words and as I prayed, found myself writing the letter upon which what follows is based. This letter is edited and rewritten for publication to preserve the privacy of the young person to whom it was written.

The Letter:

From: The Billy Goat
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2001
To: my dear young friend
Subject: of halos and such

Hi there,

Pardon my presumption asking you the following question.

Do you find that your halo weighs a little heavy on your head?

Please understand that I am not at all taking issue with the lighthearted context in which you speak of it... That does not offend me at all. But I am somewhat serious in asking the question... I find myself sensing there maybe a little more behind that remark then what's on the surface. If I am being presumptuous in writing this at all please forgive me...

I remember as a teenager feeling the pressure of the expectations others had of me... At times that was a burden I found hard to carry. I was not a Christian then, I was good enough to stay out of serious trouble and maintain my reputation with the "church" folks, but just "bad" enough to get along comfortably with the world.

As a Christian I've had to deal with the same kind of thing, the expectations of others regarding what to them it means for me to say I am a Christian. Though redeemed, I am still a sinner, and will carry the remnants of sin to my grave. I've also had to sort out what are God's expectations of me in contrast to what even Christian people expect of me. Those are not always the same. In the context of those two things I inevitably will "disappoint" somebody. And how all to often I disappoint myself with my failure to live up to what God is really asking of me.

What has helped me retain some semblance of sanity over the years is to keep going back to the truth that my acceptance before God is ultimately not on the basis of anything I do or do not do, but on what Christ in the light of His sovereign grace and mercy has done for me. When God looks at me, He sees me through the person of Jesus Christ and in Christ He accepts me. It is in response to that acceptance that I want to live in a way that images the Lord Jesus. Obedience becomes a response to grace and mercy, not an attempt to somehow as a Christian merit more grace and mercy.

Like you, I also had older siblings. Older siblings sometimes have a way of making it hard on the younger, not deliberately or maliciously, but sometimes other people expect the younger to live up to the achievements and standards set by the older siblings. But we are not all wired the same way, and not all walk to the same drumbeat.

I sense a war is raging. A war for your soul… Things cannot be measured from the surface. It is the heart where the real story is told. Oh my dear young friend, I do not ask you to live up to any expectations I might have for you... What I desire much more then anything in my longings for you is that your heart is right with God. If that is the case everything else will in His good time work itself out. Do not look at the rules and expectations my dear young friend. Look to Jesus alone... I do not expect you to be perfect, but Oh that you long for and desire God. All the things you think you may want in this world, let them be swallowed up in the greater want to see God and know His happiness. His perfect love casts out fear. Do you have fears? Seek His love... God IS Love, my dear young friend... He's not all judgment and wrath and rules and laws... He loves you far more then I or anyone else in the world can. Look to that Love... Embrace it... Hang on to it... Never ever let it go... It is a love freely and graciously given. It is a love that has its foundations not in our doings but in His grace and mercy.

All of that to say my dear young friend, look to Christ and let Him carry your halo for you. Again I recognize I may be way off the mark in what I've said in this note, but please know that I have and do pray for you just as much as I have and do for your siblings, and you also share in that love I have for them. It is my prayer you may find some encouragement in these few and weak words...

I have to look on from afar, not always at all seeing clearly what is really going on in your life, and being shut up to crying out to Him who knows you and your situation more perfectly then you yourself know.

In the bonds and love of Christ with prayer, I am.

Your servant,

~ The Billy Goat ~

Bishop John Hooper’s Letter of January 21, 1555

[Note from The Billy Goat: John Hooper was burned at the stake on February 9, 1555, in Gloucester, England. This was at the time of the reign of the Roman Catholic, Queen Mary, who ascended the throne of England in 1553, after the death of the Protestant King Edward VI. His words are a challenge to the Church of Jesus Christ at it enters the 21st century.

I would entreat any Roman Catholic friends who came across this post, to not take quick offense at some of Bishop Hooper’s words, but to read the whole of his letter, and seriously consider in the light of these words, what it should mean for anyone who says they are a "Christian", to be a Christian.

Please note that in the original, what are the first two large paragraphs as presented here, was one paragraph in the original as transcribed by Ryle.]

A letter which Master Hooper did write out of prison to certain of his friends, three weeks before his cruel burning at Gloucester.

The grace of God be with you. Amen.

I did write unto you of late, and told you what extremity the Parliament had concluded upon concerning religion, suppressing the truth, and setting forth the untruth, intending to cause all men by extremity to forswear themselves, and to take again for the head of the Church him that is neither head nor member of it, but a very enemy, as the Word of God and all ancient writers do record: and for lack of law and authority, they will use force and extremity, which have been the arguments to defend the Pope and Popery since this authority first began in the world.

But now is the time of trial, to see whether we fear God or man. It was an easy thing to hold with Christ while the Prince and world held with Him; but now the world hateth Him, it is the true trial who be His. Wherefore, in the name and in the virtue, strength, and power of His Holy Spirit, prepare yourselves in any case to adversity and constancy. Let us not run away when it is most time to fight. Remember, none shall be crowned but such as fight manfully; and he that endureth to the end shall be saved. You must now turn all your cogitations from the peril you see, and mark the felicity that followeth the peril—either victory in this world of your enemies, or else a surrender of this life to inherit the everlasting kingdom. Beware of beholding too much the felicity or misery of this world; for the consideration and too earnest love or fear of either of them draweth from God. Wherefore think with yourselves, as touching the felicity of the world, it is good; but yet none otherwise than it standeth with the favour of God. It is to be kept; but yet so far forth, as by keeping of it we lose not God. It is good abiding and tarrying still among our friends here; but yet so, that we tarry not therewithal in God’s displeasure, and hereafter dwell with the devils in fire everlasting. There is nothing under God but may be kept, so that God, being above all things we have, be not lost.

Of adversity judge the same. Imprisonment is painful; but yet liberty upon evil conditions is more painful. The prisons stink, but yet not so much as sweet houses where the fear and true honour of God lacketh. I must be alone and solitary; it is better so to be, and have God with me, than to be in company with the wicked. Loss of goods is great; but loss of God’s grace and favour is greater....It is better to make answer before the pomp and pride of wicked men than to stand naked in the sight of all heaven and earth before the just God at the latter day. I shall die by the hands of the cruel man: he is blessed that loseth this life, full of mortal miseries, and findeth the life full of eternal joys. It is pain and grief to depart from goods and friends; but yet not so much as to depart from grace and heaven itself. Wherefore there is neither felicity nor adversity of this world that can appear to be great, if it be weighed with the joys or pains of the world to come.

I can do no more but pray for you; do the same for me, for God’s sake. For my part (I thank the heavenly Father), I have made mine accounts, and appointed myself unto the will of the heavenly Father; as He will, so I will, by His grace. For God’s sake, as soon as ye can, send my poor wife and children some letter from you; and my letter also, which I sent of late to D. As it was told me, she never had letter from me, since the coming of M.S. unto her; the more to blame the messengers, for I have written divers times. The Lord comfort them, and provide for them; for I am able to do nothing in worldly things. She is a godly and wise woman. If my meaning had been accomplished, she should have had necessary things; but what I meant God can perform, to whom I commend both her and you all. I am a precious jewel now, and daintily kept, never so daintily; for neither mine own man, nor any of the servants of the house, may come to me, but my keeper alone—a simple, rude man, God knoweth; but I am nothing careful thereof. Fare you well.

The 21st of January, 1555.

Your bounden,

JOHN HOOPER

John Hooper’s Letter was taken from the transcription used by J. C. Ryle in his book Light From Old Times.

Light From Old Times: or Protestant Facts And Men ; J.C. Ryle; (1890); Reprinted by Charles Nolan Publishers, Moscow, Idaho; (2000)

Excerpt From a Letter to a Young Friend: November, 1968

(Edited for Publication)

"... It is odd and strange to think that Christ loved us when we were still sinners. He loved us when we were nothing but filthy rags, dead in our trespasses and sin. If He loved us then, can we not believe He loves us now, when we have been given a new heart, and He has given us the Spirit, and calls us His children. You know how much your earthly father loves you. That love of your earthly father is a picture that points to the love your Heavenly Father has for you my dear young friend. And if we know He loves us, then we know everything will be all right. Maybe not the way we think it should be, but it will be all right because God loves us, and has a purpose for us that goes far beyond ourselves and anything we can imagine..."

~ The Billy Goat ~

Excerpts From a Letter to my Daughter, January, 2002

(Edited for Publication.)

"My Dear Daughter,

... I will not at all pretend that I’ve been the best father I could be. I am very aware of my many shortcomings both as a husband to your mother, and as a father to you as my daughter. I will make no excuses or plead any extenuating circumstances for any of that. Yet whatever my shortcomings and sins have been, my conscience is clear that I have over the years sought as best I could to point you to Jesus Christ as your only hope in life and in death, and that if any of us have any standing before God Almighty at all, it is on the basis of what Christ has done and has nothing at all to do with what we are or have done.

... The concern I have is that you need to find your security ultimately in Christ alone. If security were found ultimately in being in a family, we would have had you baptized as an infant in a Presbyterian church. If security were found ultimately in a church, the Reformation would not have happened and we would be Roman Catholic. Ultimate security is in Jesus alone.

In the normal course of life mom and I will pass away and you and your sister will lay us in our graves. Eventually, given a normal life span, we all become orphans. Your grandparents are orphans. It may not be too much longer and your mom and I will be orphans. Someday you and your sister will be orphans. It may be ten, twenty, forty, or maybe even fifty years from now, but that day will come. Ultimate security cannot be found in parents who will die and pass away, but in Him who is described as the God of the widow and the orphan (Psalm 68:5).

Finding security in a church is a precarious matter indeed. People like your cousin find “security” in the cults that have ensnared them. Even in churches that are not cultic, it is possible for the members to be cultic in their adherence to the church. It’s their security and it becomes very difficult for those people to let go of that security even when there is clear need to do so. The result is a fear not founded on a fear of God, but a fear of man. Obvious problems are overlooked and ignored because to face those issues will disturb the security that has been built on a foundation of sand that is quickly swept away when the storms roll in.

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.” (II Tim 1:7) In this we find the source of courage is in the power of the Holy Spirit living in our lives, the sovereign, unchanging, undeserved, un-conditional love of God in Jesus Christ in our heart and life, and the sound mind that comes with ongoing moment-by-moment communion with Him.

My dear, dear, daughter… Security must ultimately be found in Christ alone. It is founded in His doing and not ours. In all our many failures, assurance is found in Him and in His promises. Our obedience comes not from some twisting of God’s promises to mean we can somehow even as Christians “earn” more favor and grace with God. It is only when our security is based in Christ alone that we can find the courage that is spoken of in II Timothy 1:7. It is in His un-conditional love that we are able to respond to Him with the desire to please Him and serve Him in loving obedience.

... these are some pretty basic things. God has expectations of what it means for someone to say that they are a Christian. Problems arise when other people or a church has expectations of what it means for someone to say they are a Christian, which go beyond the expectations of God. God has clearly stated what fruit He is looking for in Galatians 5:22-24. This fruit is a matter of the heart, not a matter of externals such as dress, music, and a middle class life style, or other external cultural accoutrements that go beyond Scripture. God’s emphasis is on the heart. If the heart is right, God will work His will in that person’s life so all the externals will eventually take care of themselves, not according to the extra-Biblical expectations of men or of churches, but according to His will for that person’s life.

My dear, dear daughter… I am very concerned that you do not find yourselves bound by the expectations of men, but by the expectations of God alone. A corollary to that is that you do not have expectations of others that say they are Christians that go beyond what God expects. Do not let yourself be bound and do not let yourself bind others. It is way to easy to place God in a box. We get to think He only works certain ways and we are closed to how He may in His sovereignty choose to work in others. We then measure the orthodoxy or commitment of others by the limitations of our self-constructed box and fall into spiritual arrogance and sinful pharisaical pride. PLEASE, PLEASE do not ever do that. You will only end up crippling your walk with God and miss much of the breadth of the Christian life. God’s true church is not measured in terms of those who meet together in a particular place. His true church is measured in terms of all those whose heart and soul has been given to Him in response to his great mercy, un-conditional love, and everlasting kindness in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Please do not ever think I do not love you. It is true I may not always know how best to show that love to you, and in seeking to love you will often fail miserably, but I DO LOVE YOU, and whatever you do and wherever you go in life you will ALWAYS be my very own dear daughter who I love so very, very much.

Love and prayers,

Dad"

~ The Billy Goat ~